Mermaid Lagoon

neverbound:

kristenxclndstn:

neverbound replied to your post: Sigh

You get like this EVERY night. It’s not healthy. Move. On.

Can you shut up please? You don’t know the situation since you’ve only been around for the bad, you obviously don’t understand either. It has only been a week and a few days or something….

You’ve been swooning over him for as long as I’ve known you. All you say is, “You don’t know the story. He’s my best friend. I love him blah blah blah,” EVURY time. Then you bitch at me for not knowing the “whole” story EVURY time. All I can see is that he makes you feel like shit, so of course I don’t like him/the situation. Not judging. Like I said, I just think it’s unhealthy.

Because you DON’T know. And you come in here all rude-like saying to move on. And all of that IS the truth. He is my best friend and I fell in love with him as a freshman. I had 2 years to get over him when we only talked occasionally because he always lost his phone but someone kept giving him my number. And those times that we talked, I was EXTREMELY cruel to him. I hardly gave him the time of day. And during that time period I wasn’t myself because I was in denial that I still loved him. Everyone saw it, no matter what I said. Then I decided to give him a chance because he just wouldn’t leave me alone not matter what I say or did to hurt him. I wanted him to feel how I felt and he understood that. And then the first time we hung out after 2 years, it was like nothing had changed. It was like he never left me and we were still best friends. And that’s when we dated again and blah blah. He broke up with me the first time because he was scared of how serious we were. And then we went out again 6 months later. And then we broke up because he stopped taking his anger-medicine. We only didn’t get back together once he was used to being off them coz he couldn’t handle a relationship at that time. But we still did things. 

And if I couldn’t “get over” him within 2 years, it’s probably going to take even longer now because back then, we didn’t do or talk about what we have now.

I also don’t want to bottle everything up like I did before because I didn’t like how that made me. I was different and I don’t ever want to be like that again.

I don’t know where/when the feelings “going away” part happened but I don’t believe that feelings as strong as we had ever go away. Not even with time. That doesn’t mean I think we’ll be together again, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like for it to happen. So just let me fucking deal with this how I deal with it.

(by the way, this is still a watered down version of us)